Carol’s Celebration and Thanksgiving Church Service at St. Radegund's Church at 1.30 p.m.on the 8th August 2011 Carol’s Life Born Mansfield - 18 September 1947 to Ken Darrington, RAF (India servicing Spitfires) and Eve, WRAF (Officer’s Senior Chef in Coventry) – They were married just prior to Ken being sent to India with Carol arriving soon after their return home. Ken, Eve and Carol moved to Arnold where Carol undertook some of her primary and all her secondary education. Carol, following school, worked at R H L Mott and Son, solicitors in Milton Street, Nottingham (coincidentally, I was working at Barclays immediately below but never met Carol). Carol worked with Ellie and Liz, both here today, and who have remained close friends. The three were split up from working in the same room because there was apparently too much hilarity, doesn’t surprise me!!! Also too much ogling of the Taylor Woodrow “builders bottoms” when the Victoria Centre was being built!! Carol enjoyed her time at Motts particularly when she worked on a family tree in an intestate situation. She had on a number of occasions to tell prospective beneficiaries that they would not be receiving anything from the estate as they were from the illegitimate side of the family – they were doubly deflated. Next came Banner Productions, a theatrical agency, where Carol worked with Lynne, long time friend also here today. The companies name to fame was to manage “Sons and Lovers”, a “one hit wonder” group. Carol and I ran into “Sons and Lovers” at the Commodore Rooms about 10 years ago – they looked decrepit. To hide their singing and music imperfections they just turned up the volume – I think that is why, today, I have tinnitus in my left ear!!! About this time Carol had been married for about 18 months before leaving her husband to return to her mum and dad. She suffered continual mental cruelty as Ellie and Tim will recall. They knew him!!! Our Years Together Carol and I were later introduced, by Richard and Sue Gammon (friends of mine and neighbours of Carol’s mum and dad) about 3 months after my wife of two and half years had shot off with a chap she worked with. I fancied Carol enormously and made my move only to be rebuffed, again, again and again. At the time Carol had a very definite down on men who she ranked “as all the same”. However, my persistence began to win her over and about three months later she finally agreed to “go out with me”. We were married on 31 March 1973. Carol and I have often joked about why I fell for her. It was at the time of mini, kilt type skirts and, of course, high heels and I really fell for the wiggle of her backside (I am in good company since I know of one other in this room today who also fell for his wife’s bottom)!!! Carol has since said that she did wiggle her backside, more than she would have normally done – so perhaps she did fancy me! Carol and I became very, very much an item and have not looked back – she became my wife, rock, best friend, lover, best mate, right arm, memory par excellence (I often think I switched off my brain, leaving that to Carol’s memory bank – very different story now), confidant, brilliant judge of character. I often wish I could have had Carol beside me at work – she would have said “yes” or “no” and saved so much deliberation and heartache!!!!! However, she helped through some difficult times for me following my marriage breakup which also left deep scars. On many occasions Carol has been proved right when assessing people (if you are here today, you were judged as being “okay”). On two occasions she assessed two of my colleagues as not being genuine and were not to be trusted – both finished up in jail, one from Barclays and another from Lloyds when we worked in London for a couple of years. I have lost for ever all that available, on tap, expertise!!! In London, Carol had a really great job where she worked for the Personnel Partner, Mr. Simons at Titmus, Sainer and Webb, Solicitors in Fleet Street – some of you will remember Charlie Clore, he was a client. When we came back to our house in Leicestershire Carol worked again for solicitors, in Leicester and Loughborough, where her Christmas Eve drinking exploits, sometimes from, unbeknown to her, mixed drinks, are best left untold. However, Carol’s other exploits with Tom Hebden ought to be mentioned – both excellent dancers who came to grief on dancing forays at the Sherwood Rooms in consecutive years and on top of that, again, both excellent skaters, came to grief at the ice stadium in Nottingham. Neither would admit fault but one of them must have put in the extra turn or two. Carol and I became joined at the hip and I can honestly say that I have been the luckiest, luckiest guy in the world to have had Carol as my wife for the last 38 years. A marriage made in heaven, only a very few minor disagreements and all always sorted before we went to bed. We continued to grow more together as the years progressed and our attributes and qualities tended to compliment each other. However, Carol had one shortfall – her timekeeping (yes, Carol, wherever you are, I am going to mention this). She was a problem at home when her dad, a hosiery machine mechanic, working a lot of the time at nights, was often raised from his bed to take Carol into Arnold to catch another bus, having missed the local bus. She didn’t change and I couldn’t change her!!! I would give Carol a time to be ready – appointments, planes, trains and meals with friends etc. On one occasion, relatively recently, I had a dental appointment. We needed about 50/55 minutes travelling time. For at least half an hour I gave Carol 10 minute reminders as to the time but she was still 15 minutes late. All the way from home to Lowdham I lambasted Carol and amongst other things kept saying “but you said you were coming” and finally, having said nothing at all, she said “I lied”. I couldn’t say anymore but look the other way and smile. We arrived late at the Dentists and I apologised to Dawn saying that we had been caught up in traffic – Dawn “I lied, too”. Sorry. Carol’s cooking was fabulous, so much so that when we lived at Diseworth she started a catering business – a great little business which developed links with some excellent companies, Ferrari and Michelin (both at the Castle Donington Race Circuit, motor cycle Grand Prix etc.) and she did many weddings and other events. Carol concentrated on preparing excellent food and also on presentation – if food looks good generally it tastes good!! She won a job at the opening of the new offices and depot of Nippon UK at the East Midlands Airport. The English M.D. said that Carol should not worry too much if the Japanese directors/customers ate very little. Carol did a deal of research and provided a mix of English and Japanese dishes. With Pat, her colleague at the opening, they were able to watch and soon noticed that the Japanese were reluctant to eat much. However, as the chatting groups got into the food they began, in groups, to shuffle up to the food, chat about it, collect it and eat it. They scoffed the lot much to everyone’s amazement, particularly so the MD. Another Carol success. She was an excellent caterer but had to stop her catering when her psoriatic arthritis had a major impact on her hands and wrists. I strongly believe that Carol had severe scars from her earlier marriage; the psoriasis appeared about two years after she left her husband and psoriatic arthritis later. She really suffered in her later years since it attacked various parts of her body for a period, of say, about 18 months. One such attack was to one of her heels near to her Achilles tendon. For the whole 18 month period Carol couldn’t walk more that a couple of hundred yards before being in severe pain and having to stop – however, she never really complained about her problems. The problem lived on but, became a very secondary issue once Carol was diagnosed with breast and secondary breast cancer in March of last year. Carol and I have had a great time together; she was beautiful, had a wonderful infectious personality, appealing to most everyone, coupled with the most wonderful smile and laugh. In our time together she was always smiling and enjoying herself – I could claim that to be my influence, but I won’t. Philip and other skiing friends will remember the time in La Pub at Tignes, she laughed non-stop for about 30/35 minutes and Philip has a video of the whole wonderful, wonderful occasion. Carol and I decided not to have any children – it may have been selfish with too much going on for just us two – but in 1990 we had the “girls”, two wonderful Weimaraner puppies – Fudge and Meisha. We had chosen Meisha and the runt of the litter of 12, Fudge, chose Carol – she hung on to Carol’s calf length skirt and that was that, we had two puppies and not one. These two became grafted onto to our hips and then we were four. We had some great times and bought a caravan to take them on holiday with us. We were never disappointed with Meisha and Fudge, they were great. We lost them after 14 years, they left a huge void, but they loved us both and particularly Carol who knew their every whim. They were obviously good judges, too. Carol and I built our own house in Eakring in 2001 but we had so many difficulties with the planners, so much so that they turned down our plans for a Potton timber framed, old style, house. It didn’t suit the vernacular, they said!!!! We didn’t give in and it was Carol who had one of those eureka moments about 3 a.m. one morning when she tapped me on the shoulder – didn’t happen too often – and said why don’t we try to build more square footage at the back of the house, thus somehow pushing out the rear elevation, and satisfy the planners requirements at the front. An approach to the Potton architect set the wheels in motion and in the end we did get our planning permission and a superb house, mainly due to Carol. Eventually the planners agreed that that the house had settled well into the vernacular!!! We eventually, down sized our garden and house a little in 2007/8 and moved to Maplebeck. Carol, and I, loved Spain where we did a great deal of touring in Southern Spain – Seville, Carmona, Cordoba, Granada, Malaga, Nerja and Jerez where for a week each year there is a horse festival and where the Spanish have their main riding school – Carol loved horses, donkeys, in fact all animals. We also loved the Parador hotels in Spain but last year had a cancel our holiday to the area which would have taken us slightly further west to Jaen – a wonderfully converted castle hotel overlooking the town, about 70k from Granada. Carol’s Diagnosis and Final Months As you will have gathered Carol and I had a great, great and relaxed way of life with not a care or a worry in the world until all of this came crashing down in March of last year when Carol was diagnosed with her cancer. Her cancer was not spotted by the mammogram she had in November 2009 – a reminder for everyone – and also a consultation with a specialist. Carol picked it up when checking herself in February. The breast cancer and secondary breast cancer in her neck was diagnosed in early March 2010. We were introduced to Dr. Chan and his oncology team of nurses; in whom we had, and do have, total confidence and also the greatest gratitude for his and their attempts to cure Carol. Carol underwent 6 sessions of intravenous chemotherapy and with supportive medication was generally okay, some sickness, indigestion, ulcers and always worries when any pain appeared somewhere. Carol was devastated when she lost her hair but I have to say that Andrew Sutherland (Sutherland and Barnett, hairdressers in Nottingham) was absolutely brilliant, helping and advising Carol with her wigs – he would have been here today, his day off, but he is helping three other ladies without hair. Some of you will know that the second more funky one was called “Roddy baby” since it matched Rod Stewart’s style and which suited Carol tremendously. Carol loved it but her own beautiful hair came back in abundance in November. After the chemotherapy Carol underwent 20 sessions of Radiotherapy on her breast and neck, followed by tablet form chemotherapy for six sessions – a further six may have been administered had Carol’s body been well enough to cope. In February a CT scan revealed that Carol’s breast and neck cancers were under complete control and that the rest of her torso was clear. We booked to go to Nerja in March, our first holiday abroad since diagnosis, and enjoyed a week at the Parador despite poor weather. However, Carol’s personality changed to one of being quite “laid back” and she had the occasional headache. On our return Dr. Chan immediately organised an MRI Scan and was able to establish that Carol had a nodule in her brain. Radiotherapy didn’t knock it out completely and it continued to grow with obvious implications. Carol entered The Park Hospital on the 5th July and died on the 27th July at 8.10 in the evening. I was with her. She passed away very peacefully and was not in pain or in any discomfort thanks to the expertise of Dr. Chan and his nurses who were on hand, whenever needed, and provided Carol with the best possible treatment anyone could have wished for. Carol has gone and I know that she will be sorely missed as the number of people at this Celebration and Thanksgiving Service testifies. I have lost what is most dearest to me and at times I am not sure how I will be able to cope. At least I know that Carol is not in any pain, will suffer no more discomfort or pain and I can say that she was so brave and courageous throughout the whole period of treatment – never complaining unduly although at times she was dramatically uncomfortable with her taste buds changing, her ulcerated mouth, her sore feet and sickness etc. What a brave, glamorous, happy, smiling young lady whose character, love and personality is lost for ever – my honey bunch and sugarplum. Carol, God bless and keep your soul in his care. Carol, I love you and I will love you for ever. David - your everloving husband, best mate, lover, and "lesser" half.